Bridget, Potty Trainer Extraordinaire

This is from an update I wrote on December 9:

We ditched the official potty training way back in the summer. Right after we started, it was clear to me that while Bridget was showing many readiness signs, she was not 100% ready to potty train (mainly because she was not able to give me any notice before she needed to go...so even though she was mostly going in the potty, I never felt safe taking her anywhere in underwear). Being able to go when I asked her to was great, but in my mind, that did not constitute being "potty trained". Sometimes, we'd sit in the bathroom for a half-an-hour before she would go. A few days of that was more than enough for both of us, so I decided she was getting ready to train, but was not quite there. And there was really no hurry, other than some arbitrary timeline I'd set to potty train her by the age of three. I decided I'd assess as we go, and begin again when she was able to tell us consistently when she needed to go (and after she'd adjusted to preschool). She has made strides in all areas this past few months. Now it is a matter of me getting serious about it again. When I am able to be consistent and focus on potty training for at least a week, we'll begin again. I am not in a rush, though. It will happen sometime soon :).

...Bridget is now completely "schedule" trained! She goes whenever we put her on the potty and often (but not always) tells us before she needs to go. (This is a modified system from what we have done with our older children, but it is working for us!)

She is extremely proud of herself, too. She shouts, Yea, PEE! Yea, POOP! Job!! (Good Job!)

I can't use the restroom myself without flushing and thinking, Yea, PEE :)!

I got a much needed push from a wonderful, wise woman (a developmental specialist) who sees Bridget each week on Fridays. Her name is Joanne, but Bridget calls her "JoJo"....and JoJo told mommy that Bridget should be wearing underwear :). She thought Bridget was fully capable and ready, which I also knew.

In her vast experience (she has been working with children with Down syndrome for over 30 years), she says most kids with Ds "schedule" train for 6 months to a year before they begin telling caregivers consistently when they need to go. She said not to let that be a deterrent in expecting Bridget to use the potty and that we could miss a window of opportunity. So we went for it!

With our older children, I firmly believed that pull-ups were only for bed once they started training (I didn't want to confuse them). But all parents know that the start of potty training can be deadly--particularly when you need to go somewhere. Accidents don't benefit anyone, I've always thought. I try to ensure best-odds potty training, always.

With Bridget, it just so happens that she stays completely dry if I put her on the potty first thing in the morning, when she gets home from morning preschool, before her nap, after her nap and once in the evening, before bed. I have been puting her in a pull-up for school, but the classroom aides have agreed to put her on the potty at school and she is coming home dry each day :). Such a big girl!

I had hedged on doing things differently than what we've always done with potty training. Now I am wondering why I didn't just go with the flow and do things how it was best for Bridget right from the start. My youngest daughter continues to teach me how to let go and embrace whatever is, beyond my own notion of the way things should be.

Today, I put Bridget down for her nap in a pull-up with underwear over it. I turned around to see her take them both off, shake the pull-up out of the underwear and put just the underwear back on. Seems she has some ideas of her own...

New

My time is short these days, and I have been meaning (and wanting) to get here and write about all kinds of things. I have several posts half-done. Does that count :)? Anyway, here are a few things I've been wanting to mention:

- Notice the search bar at the top right under header. Yea! It works. Feel free to try it out :).

- Updates on Bridget:

Preschool is going great. We just got her first progress report, and she is, well, making progress! She has a nice start on many of the goals on her IEP, which I am pleased about, but I am even more happy about how much she is enjoying school (as well as the bus and even her backpack!) and about all the new things she is doing and learning.

We're noticing a "language explosion"--in relative terms, of course. Last night, Bridget said, "I go sleep" and "Where cup? Where my cup!" She has started saying, "Oopsie!" (which has morphed from her very cute "Oop!"), and is now able to say every name in our family (a few of the names are short versions, like "Bri" for Brian...but we know exactly what she is saying, and it is clear to others as well). She is saying "Mom-my" and "Dad-dy" and "Em-my" (when previously she was just saying "Dad", "Mom", and "Em"). She is also beginning to put new words together to describe things, like, "baby sad". Bridget is still signing, but consistently saying words with the sign. She's repeating lots of things they must be doing in school, such as letting us know the type of weather each day at the bus stop (she signs and says "cold" or "rainy" or "sunny"). She will also randomly mention names of her classmates. She is singing along with the ABC's, Itsy-Bitsy Spider, You Are My Sunshine, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Happy Birthday and other songs. She says "Hap-py Birth-day" and "Pat-a-cake" very clearly, as well as many other words in the songs. Some parts are less clear to us, but she is attempting the whole song regardless. Wow!

Bridget is very much enjoying all of her siblings (and vice versa). She is absolutely part of the group, just as any other three-year-old would be. She especially likes reading with Emmy, listening to iPods with any of the kids and being in the basement when the boys are shooting baskets (trying to shoot baskets herself).

We ditched the official potty training way back in the summer. Right after we started, it was clear to me that while Bridget was showing many readiness signs, she was not 100% ready to potty train (mainly because she was not able to give me any notice before she needed to go...so even though she was mostly going in the potty, I never felt safe taking her anywhere in underwear). Being able to go when I asked her to was great, but in my mind, that did not constitute being "potty trained". Sometimes, we'd sit in the bathroom for a half-an-hour before she would go. A few days of that was more than enough for both of us, so I decided she was getting ready to train, but was not quite there. And there was really no hurry, other than some arbitrary timeline I'd set to potty train her by the age of three. I decided I'd assess as we go, and begin again when she was able to tell us consistently when she needed to go (and after she'd adjusted to preschool). She has made strides in all areas this past few months. Now it is a matter of me getting serious about it again. When I am able to be consistent and focus on potty training for at least a week, we'll begin again. I am not in a rush, though. It will happen sometime soon :).

I have been thinking of others during this holiday season, and have been giving whenever and wherever I can. Brian's 5th grade class has been talking about Random Acts of Kindness and has been trying to focus on things to do that (1) cost little--or no--money and (2) are unexpected. We've been talking at dinner time about what each of the kids is doing each day to show that they are paying attention to others and how they are spreading love and kindness. We're participating in food drives, adopt-a-family programs and other community-oriented programs, as well as encouraging the kids to give compliments and go out of their way to notice others & opportunities to make someone smile.

(Does anyone remember hearing about the customer who paid for the next person's order in the Starbucks drive-through? There's an idea that could be applied to any drive-through scenario.)

I have been busy fundraising for our local Ds organization, helping friends to locate hard-to-find gifts, and sharing special recipes with family and friends. I'll always answer the call when someone is looking for a certain type of recipe (holiday, nut-free, vegetarian, etc.) if something I have fits the bill. I'll also do some asking around if need be. Giving of time, talents or ideas is free and easy.

I have loved reading all the thoughts and ideas about giving on other blogs. Check Bethany's blog to find everyone else who is participating in her challenge.

Wouldn't You Know

...that as soon as I took the focus off traditional potty training, my little girl would decide to add her own two cents to the mix.

I put Bridget on her potty chair before her nap today. Her diaper was completely dry and had been for about three hours. She sat there smiling and kicking her feet, but did not seem to be trying to go, so I put her diaper back on and put her down for her nap.

It took me a minute to get situated downstairs and plug in the baby monitor. As soon as I turned it on, I heard her say, "poop" (in a very matter of fact way, like she might have already gone). I headed back up the stairs, pronto. I could hear her little voice as I got closer to her door, "mom. poop. mom. poop" (in a happy, sing song-y way). Oh, this could be bad, I thought. But as I got through the doorway, I could see (and smell) that the coast was clear.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom?," I asked. "Do," she replied, which means Yes, I do in Bridget-speak. The thought bubble above my head: She's stalling...

I put her back on her little potty and she immediately went #1 and #2. We cheered, then she chose and placed a sticker on the potty chair and enjoyed one, teeny-tiny, mini m&m. She then went straight back to bed, happily.

It seems that my little girl has ideas of her own...

Wouldn't You Know

...that as soon as I took the focus off traditional potty training, my little girl would decide to add her own two cents to the mix.

I put Bridget on her potty chair before her nap today. Her diaper was completely dry and had been for about three hours. She sat there smiling and kicking her feet, but did not seem to be trying to go, so I put her diaper back on and put her down for her nap.

It took me a minute to get situated downstairs and plug in the baby monitor. As soon as I turned it on, I heard her say, "poop" (in a very matter of fact way, like she might have already gone). I headed back up the stairs, pronto. I could hear her little voice as I got closer to her door, "mom. poop. mom. poop" (in a happy, sing song-y way). Oh, this could be bad, I thought. But as I got through the doorway, I could see (and smell) that the coast was clear.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom?," I asked. "Do," she replied, which means Yes, I do in Bridget-speak. The thought bubble above my head: She's stalling...

I put her back on her little potty and she immediately went #1 and #2. We cheered, then she chose and placed a sticker on the potty chair and enjoyed one, teeny-tiny, mini m&m. She then went straight back to bed, happily.

It seems that my little girl has ideas of her own...

Potty Training Report #3

Remember this?

It now looks like this:

Even so...it seems that while Miss Bridget is getting really close to full-blown potty training, this week has been more of a trial run for us.

She is showing so many signs of readiness, but is not yet telling me when she needs to go #1...which means that I have had to follow her around trying to guess when she may need to go. And she is going hours between bathroom stops despite enormous liquid intake. While this seems positive, it's actually been very frustrating since she starts going without warning. I have been on high alert for five days now.

(Now #2 is a different story, she just shouts "POOP!" before she goes--or when anyone else goes, or when she--or anyone else--passes gas. Never think you can get away with quietly ripping one, as the boys say, around Bridget. She will call you out, shouting "POOP!" and pointing right at you. So I'm told...)

I am revising my p.t. plan a little. Bridget seemed like she was getting upset yesterday after I kept asking her to sit on her potty before dinner. (She went all afternoon without going and I didn't want her to have an accident while we were eating and not paying attention.) She cried, got up and threw the little potty chair insert across the hall. She refused to sit on the potty chair for the rest of the evening.

We're so not in a hurry and I don't want to force it on her. I also didn't want to not give her a real chance when she seemed to be really ready. I've learned to never assume anything with Bridget, but rather to give her opportunities to show what she is interested in and ready to do. If I don't give her the chance, I don't know how much she is capable of doing.

I am going to keep taking her into the bathroom with me and talking about potty training in the same terms I've always used with her. I am going to put her on the potty chair first thing in the morning, before her nap, after her nap and before bed as a habit. She will sit on her potty willingly, so hopefully this will be a good way to build a routine and to continue her positive "potty training" experience. We'll keep singing and reading and doing all the fun parts, and I'll keep posting here as we move forward.

Wish us luck, and please, chime in if you have advice or suggestions!

Potty Training Report #3

Remember this?

It now looks like this:

Even so...it seems that while Miss Bridget is getting really close to full-blown potty training, this week has been more of a trial run for us.

She is showing so many signs of readiness, but is not yet telling me when she needs to go #1...which means that I have had to follow her around trying to guess when she may need to go. And she is going hours between bathroom stops despite enormous liquid intake. While this seems positive, it's actually been very frustrating since she starts going without warning. I have been on high alert for five days now.

(Now #2 is a different story, she just shouts "POOP!" before she goes--or when anyone else goes, or when she--or anyone else--passes gas. Never think you can get away with quietly ripping one, as the boys say, around Bridget. She will call you out, shouting "POOP!" and pointing right at you. So I'm told...)

I am revising my p.t. plan a little. Bridget seemed like she was getting upset yesterday after I kept asking her to sit on her potty before dinner. (She went all afternoon without going and I didn't want her to have an accident while we were eating and not paying attention.) She cried, got up and threw the little potty chair insert across the hall. She refused to sit on the potty chair for the rest of the evening.

We're so not in a hurry and I don't want to force it on her. I also didn't want to not give her a real chance when she seemed to be really ready. I've learned to never assume anything with Bridget, but rather to give her opportunities to show what she is interested in and ready to do. If I don't give her the chance, I don't know how much she is capable of doing.

I am going to keep taking her into the bathroom with me and talking about potty training in the same terms I've always used with her. I am going to put her on the potty chair first thing in the morning, before her nap, after her nap and before bed as a habit. She will sit on her potty willingly, so hopefully this will be a good way to build a routine and to continue her positive "potty training" experience. We'll keep singing and reading and doing all the fun parts, and I'll keep posting here as we move forward.

Wish us luck, and please, chime in if you have advice or suggestions!

Potty Training Report #2

We are at the start of day three. I've lost sticker count already, partially because we have had quite a bit of success, and partially because everything is starting to run together. Potty training is exhausting! It is all-encompassing :).

So yesterday went well, overall. The morning, again, was slightly better than the evening.

Both days, Bridget did all of her "business" in the potty for the first entire half of the day (pre-nap)! Both days, she went half-in-half-out (each time) for the rest of the day (post-nap). We have not had a full-blown accident yet. (She is napping and going to bed at night in diapers.)

One of our issues has been getting her little underwear out of the way quick enough, so she's running around commando quite a bit. (When she's got to go, she's got to go NOW, as in realizing it when she's already going).

We've been through the same thing with all the kids, but it seems like they were a little bit more predictable. Bridget goes a long time between restroom stops, even though she drinks a ton. So the first day the poor thing sat on the potty chair for about two hours straight. (On a positive note, we have used the time to do a lot of singing, reading and finger plays. Bridget is loving that part, and picking up new things daily.)

Bridget is not yet telling me when she needs to go (unless you count "Oh!" as the stream starts flowing). So guessing when she might need to go has been a full-time job. If she's already sitting on the chair when she starts going, we're good. If she is not on the chair, she freezes, as in scared stiff.

Last night, after sitting in the bathroom for about an hour with Bridget watching a Sesame Street DVD, I got up to put something in the kitchen trash can. She got up from her potty and, as Murphy's Law would have it, started to go standing up. She started yelling and tried to get out of the bathroom right away. She slipped on the wet spot and was sobbing on her hands and knees in a puddle of pee when I rounded the corner.

I tied to console her as I cleaned her feet, then grabbed the paper towels and spray cleaner off the bathroom counter. I had just finished wiping up the wet spot when I turned around to see her standing at the door with our dustpan and brush. She was going to try to clean up the mess. (How cute is that? Cue tears from a tired mommy.)

She did go (mostly) in the potty before bed and again first thing this morning. She is running around sans clothes right now, so I should wrap up this report. I'll give another potty training update on Friday, for anyone who is following our p.t. progress :).

On another note all together, Bridget's newest favorite thing to say is "Aw, cute!" which she exclaimed last night when tugging on the front of her daddy's golf shirt. (She watched as Sara tried on new school clothes the other day. I'd say, "Oh, that's cute!" As usual, Bridget is watching and listening closely).

Potty Training Report #2

We are at the start of day three. I've lost sticker count already, partially because we have had quite a bit of success, and partially because everything is starting to run together. Potty training is exhausting! It is all-encompassing :).

So yesterday went well, overall. The morning, again, was slightly better than the evening.

Both days, Bridget did all of her "business" in the potty for the first entire half of the day (pre-nap)! Both days, she went half-in-half-out (each time) for the rest of the day (post-nap). We have not had a full-blown accident yet. (She is napping and going to bed at night in diapers.)

One of our issues has been getting her little underwear out of the way quick enough, so she's running around commando quite a bit. (When she's got to go, she's got to go NOW, as in realizing it when she's already going).

We've been through the same thing with all the kids, but it seems like they were a little bit more predictable. Bridget goes a long time between restroom stops, even though she drinks a ton. So the first day the poor thing sat on the potty chair for about two hours straight. (On a positive note, we have used the time to do a lot of singing, reading and finger plays. Bridget is loving that part, and picking up new things daily.)

Bridget is not yet telling me when she needs to go (unless you count "Oh!" as the stream starts flowing). So guessing when she might need to go has been a full-time job. If she's already sitting on the chair when she starts going, we're good. If she is not on the chair, she freezes, as in scared stiff.

Last night, after sitting in the bathroom for about an hour with Bridget watching a Sesame Street DVD, I got up to put something in the kitchen trash can. She got up from her potty and, as Murphy's Law would have it, started to go standing up. She started yelling and tried to get out of the bathroom right away. She slipped on the wet spot and was sobbing on her hands and knees in a puddle of pee when I rounded the corner.

I tied to console her as I cleaned her feet, then grabbed the paper towels and spray cleaner off the bathroom counter. I had just finished wiping up the wet spot when I turned around to see her standing at the door with our dustpan and brush. She was going to try to clean up the mess. (How cute is that? Cue tears from a tired mommy.)

She did go (mostly) in the potty before bed and again first thing this morning. She is running around sans clothes right now, so I should wrap up this report. I'll give another potty training update on Friday, for anyone who is following our p.t. progress :).

On another note all together, Bridget's newest favorite thing to say is "Aw, cute!" which she exclaimed last night when tugging on the front of her daddy's golf shirt. (She watched as Sara tried on new school clothes the other day. I'd say, "Oh, that's cute!" As usual, Bridget is watching and listening closely).

Potty Training Report #1

This morning we began potty training...officially. We had a great start to the day. Bridget was happy to sit on her potty chair (and go) right away! We gave her a sticker and an m&m...and put her in underwear to start the day. We had great success early in the day, and what I would have expected later in the day (a few accidents). In total, we added three new stickers to the potty chair today!

Potty Training Report #1

This morning we began potty training...officially. We had a great start to the day. Bridget was happy to sit on her potty chair (and go) right away! We gave her a sticker and an m&m...and put her in underwear to start the day. We had great success early in the day, and what I would have expected later in the day (a few accidents). In total, we added three new stickers to the potty chair today!

Exciting Times Over Here

If you look closely at the picture below, you can see that there are six stickers on Bridget's potty, which means that she has successfully used the potty as many times :)!

We are not officially potty training yet, but I thought I would start experimenting with Bridget. She started taking off wet diapers on her own awhile ago. She kept wanting to put them on the kitchen counter, so I make sure she is always wearing a diaper cover of some sort.

When she began doing that, I also made a note to myself that being unhappy in dirty diapers was a potty training readiness cue. I bought her a new potty that looked like it offered back support and would be comfortable for her and easy for me to clean.

When I put the potty in our downstairs bathroom, I started to get nervous. I began to think about how and when I should truly begin trying to train her and whether potty training would be more difficult with her than with the older kids. Like everyone else, I've heard that children with Down syndrome tend train later than typical kids, and I've never trained a kid with Ds before. I didn't want to screw it up by starting before she was ready, or by being inconsistent. Chrystal wondered about this with her daughter, too (find that here).

We began to ask Bridget to just sit on the potty. The first time she did it, she said "tssss", stood up and clapped. Hmmm, I thought. A few weeks ago, Bridget took a tiny piece of tissue and was dabbing it on the front of her diaper (pretending to wipe). Again--earth to mom--time to start training her.

I found a Sesame Street Potty Book at Discount Drug Mart one day recently (you can also get it at Borders, or on Amazon) and couldn't decide if it was worth the $3, since Bridget still only watches Hi-5, and since some of it seemed difficult for her to understand. In the end, the coloring pages and stickers were too cute to pass up, and I thought it was worth a try (even later down the road).

I also considered whether I should offer her some type of sweet reward. Bridget doesn't really eat sweets, except for ice cream on occasion. She also wasn't chewing effectively (until recently), so I second-guessed giving her a treat as a reward. I ended up settling on mini-m&ms, which fit the bill on all accounts, and which I bought the same day I bought the book.

So I had supplies, but how would I do it? Put her in underwear, fill her with fluids and put her on the potty every 15 minutes like I did with everyone else? Let her pick out stickers to put on the potty each time she goes, and reward her with m&ms? Would Bridget be able to tell me she needed to go? Would she even care about rewards? With our older kids, the routine worked like a charm, and they all trained in a weekend. But what to expect with Miss Bridget?

I should know better. I should know not to assume that anything is beyond her comprehension, and that she is more like the rest of the kids than she is different.

I should also know by now to follow her lead. She leads well :).

I am planning on getting serious in a few weeks, when it is consistently warm and when can be home for several days in a row and just focus on potty training.

But, as you can see from the above photo, we've already started having success--and I have some answers to my initial questions. I taught her the signs for "potty" and "potty chair", which she is using proudly at this point after she goes. My goal is to help her understand when she needs to go and use one of these signs to alert me--she is already saying "poop" after she's gone, so she might also be able to express her needs verbally. We'll go with whatever works for her. (I'd rather she say or sign "potty" than shout "POOP!" when she needs to go, but that's my own hang-up :).)

She loves the stickers (she points to which one she wants, I take it off the page and she puts it on the potty). She loves the mini m&ms and is already asking for them after she goes by saying something that sounds more like "luh-muh-nuh-muh-nuh", but I know exactly what she means.

She's so excited about what she has produced that she looks into the potty and waves. She waits for me to dump the contents into the big toilet, and then she flushes it with a giggle. I have even caught her trying to wipe the potty clean with toilet paper (she's seen me using Clorox wipes on it a few times).

Her lesson is my lesson. With her, I should always presume competence. I should anticipate nothing other than to be surprised with what she accomplishes, when and how.

Looks like she's training me well...

Exciting Times Over Here

If you look closely at the picture below, you can see that there are six stickers on Bridget's potty, which means that she has successfully used the potty as many times :)!

We are not officially potty training yet, but I thought I would start experimenting with Bridget. She started taking off wet diapers on her own awhile ago. She kept wanting to put them on the kitchen counter, so I make sure she is always wearing a diaper cover of some sort.

When she began doing that, I also made a note to myself that being unhappy in dirty diapers was a potty training readiness cue. I bought her a new potty that looked like it offered back support and would be comfortable for her and easy for me to clean.

When I put the potty in our downstairs bathroom, I started to get nervous. I began to think about how and when I should truly begin trying to train her and whether potty training would be more difficult with her than with the older kids. Like everyone else, I've heard that children with Down syndrome tend train later than typical kids, and I've never trained a kid with Ds before. I didn't want to screw it up by starting before she was ready, or by being inconsistent. Chrystal wondered about this with her daughter, too (find that here).

We began to ask Bridget to just sit on the potty. The first time she did it, she said "tssss", stood up and clapped. Hmmm, I thought. A few weeks ago, Bridget took a tiny piece of tissue and was dabbing it on the front of her diaper (pretending to wipe). Again--earth to mom--time to start training her.

I found a Sesame Street Potty Book at Discount Drug Mart one day recently (you can also get it at Borders, or on Amazon) and couldn't decide if it was worth the $3, since Bridget still only watches Hi-5, and since some of it seemed difficult for her to understand. In the end, the coloring pages and stickers were too cute to pass up, and I thought it was worth a try (even later down the road).

I also considered whether I should offer her some type of sweet reward. Bridget doesn't really eat sweets, except for ice cream on occasion. She also wasn't chewing effectively (until recently), so I second-guessed giving her a treat as a reward. I ended up settling on mini-m&ms, which fit the bill on all accounts, and which I bought the same day I bought the book.

So I had supplies, but how would I do it? Put her in underwear, fill her with fluids and put her on the potty every 15 minutes like I did with everyone else? Let her pick out stickers to put on the potty each time she goes, and reward her with m&ms? Would Bridget be able to tell me she needed to go? Would she even care about rewards? With our older kids, the routine worked like a charm, and they all trained in a weekend. But what to expect with Miss Bridget?

I should know better. I should know not to assume that anything is beyond her comprehension, and that she is more like the rest of the kids than she is different.

I should also know by now to follow her lead. She leads well :).

I am planning on getting serious in a few weeks, when it is consistently warm and when can be home for several days in a row and just focus on potty training.

But, as you can see from the above photo, we've already started having success--and I have some answers to my initial questions. I taught her the signs for "potty" and "potty chair", which she is using proudly at this point after she goes. My goal is to help her understand when she needs to go and use one of these signs to alert me--she is already saying "poop" after she's gone, so she might also be able to express her needs verbally. We'll go with whatever works for her. (I'd rather she say or sign "potty" than shout "POOP!" when she needs to go, but that's my own hang-up :).)

She loves the stickers (she points to which one she wants, I take it off the page and she puts it on the potty). She loves the mini m&ms and is already asking for them after she goes by saying something that sounds more like "luh-muh-nuh-muh-nuh", but I know exactly what she means.

She's so excited about what she has produced that she looks into the potty and waves. She waits for me to dump the contents into the big toilet, and then she flushes it with a giggle. I have even caught her trying to wipe the potty clean with toilet paper (she's seen me using Clorox wipes on it a few times).

Her lesson is my lesson. With her, I should always presume competence. I should anticipate nothing other than to be surprised with what she accomplishes, when and how.

Looks like she's training me well...